Sake Diary
by hitori.no.boku
Summary: "Wait, isn't your brother going to be mad about this?" "…Isn't your Hokage?" "…Fuck it."


Sake Diary

* * *

Prologue

Junmai: pure rice wine.

* * *

Damn, why was it so **bright** in here?

"Oh Kami, why did I drink so fucking much…" Naruto moaned, clutching his head, fingers curling around his blonde hair. He fumbled around on the cold floor, head accidentally striking the stall wall.

"Itaiiiiii…." He moaned again. He closed his eyes, blocking out the glaring light of the bathroom and fumbled around, finally propping himself up right against the toilet. He sighed. Silence. Finally. Thank the sweet gods!

Footsteps.

'_Oh no…_'

A loud banging rocked the stall and Naruto clutched his head in agony at the sound, eyes clenching in pain.

'_Oh Kami please, make it stop, make it stop!_' he screamed in his head.

"Yo yo, stop being such a downer, Na-ru-to!" a far too loud, far too energetic, far too boisterous voice called from outside the bathroom stall. "There's people waiting on your sorry butt, so hurry, because this girl really wants my nu-"

"Shut the fuck up Kirabi or I swear I'll go Kyuubi on you", ground out Naruto from his sad, sad perch slumped against the relatively clean toilet.

The stall door was thrown open after a moment with a whoosh of sound, bright light flooding onto Naruto, who only whimpered in protest. There stood Kirabi, brother to the Raikage, container of the Hachibi and now a member of a certain, wildly successful rap duo.

"What the hell's gotten into you? You look like some dog's leftover p-"

Naruto just tuned the man out, glancing up to glare at him through squinted eyes.

"Can't you seriously not handle a little liquor? I thought you'd get drunk a lot less…quicker…" Kirabi stroked his beard, looking down at Naruto's pale face.

"Hmm... Pussy."

Naruto just glared harder.

"I told you I didn't have much experience with it, you asshole. You made me drink so much! I drank more than Tsunade when she wins the damn lottery! Do you know how much sake that is?!"

The blonde glared, still clutching his head. Groaning, he leaned back, his sudden outburst taking a surprising amount of energy out of the young blonde and he buried his head in his hands once again. Kirabi just smirked, looking down at Naruto's pitiful form.

"Well if you're not feeling up to it, I'd better tell her to go…"

Naruto looked up again at Kirabi, his eyebrow attempting to rise. It ended up looking like a weak grimace.

"Who?"

Kirabi just shrugged. "The hoe."

"…Who?"

A sigh. "The Mizukage bro!"

Pause. Pause. "…Oh…shit. Mei? She's here? For me?"

A very, very wide smirk. "She didn't come to see Kira-bi! Mmhm, oh yeah."

Another pause. And then Naruto's resigned groan. "…Shit. Gimme a second. Lemme sober up somewhat. Somehow." Naruto then proceeded to stand, albeit shakily and edged his way toward the sink, ever so slowly.

Kirabi just shook his head in exasperation, his fingers folding into seals. The faucet from the sink bust open, dousing Naruto in a spray of cold, cold, icy, water. Standing in the middle of the bathroom, now sopping wet and cold to boot, Naruto gave Kirabi the evilest glare he could manage.

"I'm going to kill you. Slowly. So fucking slowly."

Kirabi just laughed.

"Sorry bout the sink, you need to dry off…I know some katon jutsu I think…"

Naruto put his hands up, backing away from the dark skinned man, eyeing his fingers warily.

"No thanks, keep your damn jutsu away from me! No katon from you, you'll probably set me on fire! I've got this; I am a wind element after all."

No hand seals were necessary as Naruto just lifted his hand, the air around him swirling a bit, heating up, passing over his body. He clenched his fingers into a fist and the air compressed around him. After a few minutes, he was dry. Kirabi whistled, eyeing the blonde's now water free clothing.

"You need to show me how to do that."

Naruto just stuck his tongue out, scooting past the Hachibi container.

"No use, you're not wind element, nyah nyah."

"Why! You little brat!"

The blonde laughed, dancing out of the way of Kirabi's hands. The dark skinned man followed the now considerably better looking Naruto out of the bathroom and down the hall, the two of the bantering lightly, even as the sounds from the neighboring rooms began to sink through the sound proof walls. After walking down a few more hallways and pass a few more doors, the two of them stopped in front of large, plain looking double doors.

"So…before I go in there and the music assaults my poor, poor head, tell me where she is so I don't look like an idiot wandering around. Or better yet, so people don't try to ask me for autographs, you know how I **hate** that."

Kirabi just snorted; imagining the day that Naruto would NOT sign autographs and ignore their ever growing fan base. A cold day in proverbial hell. He listened to his shorter companion whine a bit more before he cut in.

"Quit gripin'. I left her by the bar aright then? For sure, for sure, some poor guy is probably trying to pick up on her."

Naruto scoffed.

"Yeah, good luck with that, everyone knows she's just a flirt. Well, let's not keep them waiting any longer, right?"

With one hand Naruto pushed the doors open and the music washed over the both of them. The blonde sauntered in, Kirabi just slightly behind him, scanning for that brunette that had been chatting him up. He watched Naruto make a beeline for the bar and shook his head.

"Heh, what a sucker, he just really, really wants to fuc-"

The rest of Kirabi's words were quickly lost in the chaos of the music.

The night went on.

And inside the venue that was hosting the party, the liquor ran free, the music never stopped and the people were happy. They always were. People were never left unsatisfied when partying with the newest music sensation that was quickly sweeping over the elemental nations.

Outside the venue, where lines of people were still trying to get in, a few banners fluttered, orange and bright even in the dark. The text on them was undeniable.

"Kyu-Ball and Ki-Ra-Bi: On Tour"

* * *

"So…what you're telling me is, is that you…YOU of all people, can't find the loudest, brightest ninja that has ever touched down on this continent. Is that correct?"

Kakashi twitched. Neji's eyes darted away. Kiba gulped. Shino shifted in his seat.

Tsunade glowered.

"I can't believe this! How could Naruto of all people keep his tracks hidden from ALL FOUR of you? This is ridiculous on the face of it."

Neji nudged Kiba with his foot. Kiba tried to nudge Shino. It didn't work.

"Uh…well…he IS your successor Hokage-sama… He's powerful enough and good enough to know how to get away when he wants to…"

Tsunade slammed her hands down on her desk, cracking it. Kiba promptly shut his mouth.

"I understand that he is my successor, I picked him. What I don't understand, is that after three consecutive missions, you've failed to provide me with ANY leads."

"Ahh…with all due respect Tsunade-sama", started Kakashi, almost shrinking back at the withering glare that Tsunade fixed him with, "Naruto is powerful. I'm sure he can take care of himself… I wouldn't worry too much about his wellbeing…"

If anything, Tsunade's glared intensified.

"I know that, Kakashi" she ground out, "What I don't know, is that even though the war is over, is whether or not Naruto is still a target from any remnants of Akatsuki. That is what is bothering me. He's a very, very noticeable target. Which leads me to wonder why the hell you haven't found him yet."

Silence. The four ninja shifted under the weight of their Hokage's stare.

"That's what I thought. You're all dismissed. And next time, I better have results."

The four ninja filed out, leaving the Hokage alone in her office.

Once the door shut behind them, Kiba let out a relieved sigh, looking over at his fellow ninja.

"Kami, I thought she was going to burn you to death with her glare Kakashi-sempai."

Kakashi just let out his own long sigh, pulling out his favorite, little red book.

"Mah well, at least we're out. I'm going home. Ja-ne."

Kakashi disappeared in a swirl of leaves, leaving the three other ninja behind.

Shino gave his companions a small nod. "I will depart as well."

"Well damn", said Kiba after Shino disappeared. "What are you doing Neji?"

The Hyuuga gave Kiba a sidelong glance.

"I am going with Lee-kun to see Sai-san and Sakura-san, apparently there is this new music that Sai-san discovered he'd like us to listen to."

Kiba gave Neji an incredulous look.

"You're going with Lee…to see Sai and Sakura voluntarily?"

Neji just shrugged.

"I promised Ten-ten."

Kiba was silent for a moment.

"…"

"…Whipped."

What followed was a series jyuuken strikes and a hollering Kiba.

* * *

The Raikage stared down at the papers in his hand. His eyes narrowed, glaring at the images. A hand came up to massage his temples as he leaned back, closing his eyes. He tried to will the papers away, to make them disappear…

He cracked an eye open.

'_Dammit_.'

With a resigned sigh, the Raikage once again fixed his eyes on images before him. Without glancing up, he spoke to the ninja assembled in his office.

"Are you certain about this?"

The busty blonde standing before him nodded.

'_Dammit again._'

"Hot Springs country eh? Well, can't say he didn't pick a nice spot", grumbled the Raikage.

Ay shook his head, leaning back in his massive chair once again.

"Go after him. Bring Kirabi back. It's gone on long enough I think."

The woman nodded, but stood expectantly. Ay quirked an eyebrow.

"What else Samui?"

The blonde shifted and Ay could have sworn he heard a light scoff from one of her teammates. He shifted his gaze to Karui and Omoi, who promptly regained composure, before turning back to Samui.

"What of Uzumaki Naruto, Raikage-sama?"

Ah, so that's what she wanted. Ay ran a hand through his hair. Well, it wasn't like he was their ninja. They didn't really have jurisdiction over the Kyuubi boy. But Konoha was looking for him. Hmm, decisions, decisions…

'_Gah, what the hell!_'

"Do as you see fit Samui, I'll leave it in your capable hands." His mind was made up and he was washing his hands of this ordeal!

This time, the Raikage **knew** he heard Karui mutter something about capable hands and turned a questioning glance onto Samui, who was now blushing a deep red. He glanced once to Karui, who had quickly been quieted by Omoi, and then back to Samui. The blonde was looking everywhere but his face, eyes darting around the room.

Ay sighed.

"Dismissed. Now leave me alone. I don't have time for this childishness."

The team quickly left his office, Omoi and Karui stepping out a moment before Samui could get her hands on them. Ay shook his head, watching his door close.

Damn kids.

* * *

It'd all started with a drink.

And then somewhere they'd had this great idea: what if they rapped together?

They'd had a few more drinks.

Someone had the bright idea to actually tell them they were good. It sort of snowballed from there.

Another bottle of sake down the line.

Next thing they knew, it was a continent wide tour. They were actually pretty popular. And then the women came. Oh Kami the women.

Oh and more alcohol, can't forget that.

After a few more drinks, they realized how deep they'd actually gotten into it.

"Wait, isn't your brother going to be mad about this?"

"…Isn't your Hokage?"

"…Fuck it."

After all, it was about the freedom…right?

Naruto and Kirabi. A tale of sake, music and women.

* * *

An: Let the drunken debauchery begin.


End file.
